How Do People Make Choices?

When it comes to people, we make choices based on an ideal that was placed in our minds. It has to be based first on how we look. Does the clothing we have chosen to wear seem to us to be appropriate and attractive. Then the concern is about how we move. Or put another way, the first concerns about us as people boils down to do look good and move well. With more experience we begin to ask questions about when and where we are seen.

Neither fair nor accurate, but commonly used tests on whether we want to know more about them as well as spend time with them. That is one of the huge problems with non-verbal communication. It is ambiguous and under the control of someone else. So what are some of the things we ought to consider if we want to be "attractive" to other individuals.

First, you must have in mind the individuals or groups to which you want to be attractive. To this extent learn as much as possible about those that you want to feel attracted to you. Where are they? How do they dress? How do they move? When are they on display? With the answers to these questions you are able to present yourself at the proper time looking like one of their potential friends/associates and you are doing what they would expect of anyone that might be allowed into their circle.

Keep in mind that everybody is busy, and some more so than others. They may not want to "waste" any time on individuals that don't fit their expectations. In our culture, everybody is busy and they are primarily interested in doing what furthers their goals. Keep their effort to accept you to an absolute minimum. Look, sound, move and act like the folk they have already decided to travel with. Now you will not appear to be a waste of their time.

A bulk of what we have just thought about is non-verbal. Something about which we spend too little time thinking. You can't spend too much time or thought about these non-verbals because they are going to play a major role in 1) who you're going to live with, 2) where you are going to work and 3) how much money you're going to make.

After you've been accepted enough to begin talking to each other you can further define you non-verbals. The only way for you to control the meaning of your non-verbals is over time and with your words. Don't allow others to interpret your non-verbals without a plan or the hope of further definition. Communication is tough. Treat it with respect.