There is great safety in listening. Fights can be avoided, opportunities seized, friendships built, raises obtained and many other benefits. Below is a re post discussing listening which is fitting at this time.
(First posted in October 09, 2013. There are many articles published on
listening and much can be learned. Skillful listening is critical to
success in reaching our goals.)
Much of the time we confuse hearing and listening.
They are different. Hearing is something that many of us can do with
varying capabilities. Some need hearing aids and some can hear sounds
that are well in excess of the "normal range." Almost none of us are
willing to concede that our hearing is something that we should always
protect. Aging robs even those who can hear well. How well you can hear
makes a difference. If you can't hear the subtleties of pronunciation
then you can't include them in your conversation. If those subtleties
are necessary for the proper understanding of what you are saying, then
you have a problem.
Listening is much more complicated.
It includes the attributes of hearing and much more. As mentioned in
the book "Communication: Principles for a Lifetime," listening involves
such things as:
1. Selecting certain stimuli out of all the
stimuli around us. Not only what is apparently being "said" but how it
is being "said."
2. Focusing on a particular stimulus or message.
The ability to block out stimuli while paying careful attention to
3. Assigning meaning to messages. Your meaning, of course, but more importantly what "they" mean.
4. Recalling information(stimuli)that has been communicated. There are barriers here that are often ignored.
5. Responding or confirming your understanding of a message. Now you're in a position to "say" something.
The barriers need some thought. There are many and here is a brief list.
Rest: the ability to concentrate on everything that is being "said"
verbally and non-verbally over a period of time takes energy. After
long periods of listening you really should be tired. Don't confuse
physical and mental exercise. They both require effort.
Health: clearly, if you are sick, concentration is not a reasonable
expectation. All you really want to do is get well, then maybe you can
3. Physical fitness: in order to have a reserve of
energy you must be physically fit and able to think and concentrate over
a period of time.
4. Freedom from stress: if you're having personal problems anywhere in your life it makes listening a very difficult task.
Drug free: legal or not, anything that affects your abilities think,
focus, recall and respond to what is being "said" will get in the way.
is not simple or easy. The more we know about it the better the
chances are that we will be able to listen. The question is, "To whom
are we listening?" The list is really long, but some that may hit close
to home are: children, spouse, parents, grand-parents, friends, fellow
employees, supervisors, officials of all kinds and the list goes on.
is central in many ways to being able to reach your personal goals. In
addition, those who can listen well are able to help those around them
making improvements to the lives of those around them. Listening is