Unfortunately, arguing has acquired a negative position in many minds. And with some reason after all, there is a winner and a loser. When you have an argument, the mind set is often more of offense and defense than "here's an opportunity to learn something."
Daniel H. Cohan has clearly thought about this problem for some time and in this TED Talk makes good sense on what our opportunities might/should be when arguing. The whole process will take less than 10 minutes.