Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Nonverbal Communicaiton

Recently, I was reviewing some of the things published in 2008.  This brief discussion of nonverbal communication fits our situation today just fine.  In all honesty we should spend far more time paying attention to what we are saying to others all the time with our nonverbal behavior.  The other side of the coin, we should make steady progress in improving our skills at understanding the nonverbal communication of those around us. When applied to our interpersonal relationships it should occur to us that our meaning maybe/is different from those around us.
"How many times do I have to tell you that I love you?" One of the things we should examine is, "Why is this person asking over and over again do you love me?" There are several possible reasons.

Instead of letting your frustration burst out, think about what they are saying or at least what you think they are saying. They may be saying that, "If you really loved me you would be around more often and longer." They could also be saying, "I hear what you say to me, but I don't hear an adequate explanation why you can love me." Probably the first of these two explanations is the most important.

The reason is simple: time. Time and your use of it says a huge amount about who you are and what you value. People spend most of their time doing what they prefer to do. When they aren't spending time the way they want to, they usually complain loud and long. If you love someone and you don't choose to spend time with them, then they have a right to wonder about your real feelings."
There are other reasons of course, but we should pay careful attention to our use of time. We are saying things to our boss, friends, children and spouse by our use of time, even when we think we've got it covered with words.

Keep in mind the question, "What am I communicating to myself and others?" It may aid you in the process of making a decision about what to do. Are you telling yourself that since you know why you're doing what you're doing your significant other will understand? Are you certain you know how they will interpret your nonverbals with the same interpretation you have? And keep in mind, time is part of nonverbal communication.  How are you making use of it to underscore what you intend to say to those you love, or even work for?

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